Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is a quote machine. He are just a few of the
best: Bas Rutten: Who have you been working on your submissions with
to prepare for Arona? Rampage: Alex Lee. Bas Rutten: And what did you
do with him? Rampage: He submitted me.
PRIDE: Satake has got a technique called the invisible-kick. Do you
think he can use that with any success on you? Jackson: Well, if it's
invisible, goddamn, I guess so because I can't see the motherf@%&er.
"Wanderlei knocked him out with his breath" Rampage during the
Sakuraba vs Wandy fight
Bas Rutten: "So you're fighting Minowa." Rampage: "Manure?" Bas
Rutten: "No Minowa, what do u know about him?" Rampage: "I found out
his name was Manure, I was like, damn, this guy must be the s#*t!"
"Have you ever had your a$$ whooped on by a black man before? It
hurts!" -Quinton Jackson
Mauro: "Quinton, your thoughts on this fight.." Rampage: "My thoughts
are... I hope wanderlei wins and wins fast, cuz i gotta go take a
crap!"
Mauro: "Theres a left by Jackson.... or make that Randleman, sorry!"
Rampage: "Thats alright, all black folks look alike."
Pride: "If you look into a crystal ball, what do you see in your
future? Rampage: "I don't have a crystal ball, I only have 2 balls."
Kazushi Sakuraba is a Japanese legend for his interviews as well as
his fights. Here are some of his best: Interviewer: What's new in your
life? Sakuraba: I gained some weight and it affects my car's fuel
consumption.
Interviewer: Have you thought of any new techniques lately? Sakuraba:
Yes, I had some but since I've been hit too much in my recent fights,
I forgot them!
"In my early years I was drunk and took a kids bike and rode it home
and got charged with stealing. I want to prove to Mirko I am
innocent!" -Kazushi Sakuraba after learning his next opponent was a
former police officer.
"Maybe I will hire someone to make some belts for me. It's easier than
fighting for them you know."- Sakuraba
"You should study Pokemon to get stronger." -Kazushi Sakuraba to a
defeated adversary.
"What have I got better than anyone? Age. -Kazushi Sakuraba
Tank Abbott is a UFC legend and a great interview: "After a match, my
opponent goes to the hospital and gets an IV and I have a martini." -
Tank Abbott
"Okay. Right here I'm tickling his brain." -Tank Abbott commenting on
a replay showing him pressing his opponents head against the cage.
"You know I just went from the barstool to the octagon." -Tank Abbott.
"Here's where I hit him with the light switch." -Tank Abbott
commentating on his knockout of Steve Nelmark
"I'm starting to get sexually aroused right now you better get that
off." -Tank Abbott after watching a replay of his brutal knockout of
John Matua.
"Isn't that the guy on the coffee can?" -Tank Abbott commenting on his
Brazilian opponent Hugo Duarte.
"He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day and looks like
a (expletive) today." -Tank Abbott.
"I dreamed that I was being raped by Freddy Mercury." -Tank Abbott
after being defeated by Dan Severn.
"When I go in there, I'm not going in there to win. I'm going in there
to fight!" -Tank Abbott
"In a real fight in a bar, you wouldn't be able to lay on your back
like a b@*#h. You might catch a pool cue to the back of the head." -
Tank Abbott.
"I'm gonna win this tournament because I am the most athletic fighter
in it." - Tank Abbott
"Beating people up is a positive thing." -Tank Abbott
Bas Rutten a former UFC champ and Pride announcer: "You can buy
muscles but you cant buy Cojones" - Bas Rutten
Bas Rutten: He has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Stephen
Quadros: Yes, well many of the fighters have a black belt. Bas Rutten:
Yes, but in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu you cant buy your belt like in say,
Tae Kwon Do. Stephen Quadros: Do you have any belts? Bas Rutten: I
have a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do.
Former UFC great and current Pride fighter Don Frye: PRIDE: What went
through your mind during the fight with Le Banner? Frye: Leather.
Stephen Quadros: How long have you had that mustache? Don Frye: Since
I was 5. I got it from my mom's side of the family. She's not a pretty
woman.
Phil Baroni: "Don't touch the hair" - Phil Baroni to the referee
before fighting Yuki Kondo
"My favorite fighter is Phil Baroni, and I'm pretty sure it's yours
too." -Phil Baroni
"Theres no such thing as a Matt Lindland fan" - Phil Baroni
"[Matt] Lindland looks just like 'Woogie' from 'There's Something
About Mary', how am I possibly supposed to take this guy seriously?" -
Phil Baroni
"If you are in the 7th row heads up, because that is wear his jaw is
going to end up. If you catch it, keep it and meet me after the
show...I will sign that b%#@h for ya." - Baroni before his fight with
Tanner.
Random Guys: "Do you know what pimp stands for? It stands for Punching
Is My Pleasure!" - Shonie Carter
"I can't wait to get in there and stomp his head into the mat
(pause)...but this time with my fists!" -Wes Sims before Mir-Sims 2
(Mir-Sims1 was stopped due to illegal stomps from Sims)
"Last time he beat me fair and square, sorry, fairly squarely." - GSP
"A black belt only covers two inches of your a$$, you have to cover
the rest." - Royce Gracie
"Don't fear me,fear the consequences" - Paul Buentello
"All I am saying is that he eats corn on the cob the long way." - Nick
"the Goat" Thompson referring to Diego Sanchez
"I'm gonna knock your hair black!" - Ken Shamrock during one of his
many arguments with Tito
"I got retard strength" - Jason "Mayhem" Miller
John Macarthy on Dan Severn's side while opponent walks in: "Are there
any questions?" Severn: "If a train leaves los angles and a nother
leave Chicago, how may apples are in Mary's Basket?" Big John: "Your a
crazy man."
Question: How old are you? CroCop: Well in looks 45, in intelligence
12, in reality 27.
"One time my wrist watch stopped from fear." - Mirko CroCop
"You are going to be the last of the Moheican's" - Tito Ortiz to Chuck
Liddell (because of his mohawk).
Ironic Predictions also add humor. Here are a few of my favorites: "I
have a high threshold for pain." - Patrick Smith before tapping out to
an submission from Ken Shamrock.
"My breathing techniques make me impervious to chokes." - Joe Son
before getting choked out in his first UFC match.
"He's got a weak chin, and I have heavy hands." - Nate Quarry talking
about Rich Franklin before suffering a brutal knockout
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